God I Know You Got Me!

God, humbles me in some of the most beautiful ways.

This morning after I woke up and thanked God for another day. I started my usual routine. Part of my morning is my business which is looking through the stats on how my music is moving. One of my songs “God I Know You Got Me” is by far the most popular song. It has reached more people than I could have ever imagined.

I get excited seeing this and love to share my journey, but how do I speak about it without feeling like I’m making it about me? I mean the song was written in the darkest time of my life. This song in itself was the catalyst for my walk with God. So of course when I tell people, I get overwhelmingly excited!

But this morning was different. As I clicked on my stats for this song and started scrolling through out all the countries, my eyes started to swell. Its well over 100 countries, some I haven’t even heard of before. I felt God speaking to my heart in this moment about how he is using this song to reach the brokenhearted. Immediately I’m humbled; as I continue to scroll I began to remember where I was, and what led me to write this song and cry out to God.

There have been so many times where it was hard for me to comprehend how God could use me. A crazy ex heroin addict who abandoned Him and her family at one point, lived homeless on the streets and then ultimately ended up in jail for a horrible crime. Why me God? Then in this moment I get the answer, God can use anyone willing enough to go after his own heart. Maybe thats why God loves the least so much, because the least of us have felt the same hurt as God.

So God used me, a brokenhearted ex drug addict. Someone who felt abandoned by love and lost in a crazy world. Someone that still to this day people hate and would rather see gone. God used the worst time of my life to help me make a beautiful cry out to him. Something so personal that I could see the impact and be willing enough, or the best way to put it vulnerable enough to share with the world.

Now, when I say the world, this isn’t a light phrase in my vocabulary anymore. When I say God has moved my words around the world there are stats to prove it. The most beautiful part of all of this is, that no one knows who I am. But in many countries around the world they have heard my story, related to my words, and cried out to God in praise.

As I’m learning in church and in my lifegroup what it is like to be a disciple, I can now feel worthy of saying I’m doing something in the body of Christ. Because if I’m being honest I haven’t even felt worthy, but this morning God showed me otherwise! And guess what this encouragement from my creator has given me the determination to keep going!